Jordan's Alive

Well, Jordan's alive at least. He's on the futon sleeping as I type this. Apparently it was all just a misunderstanding and blown out of proportion messages. Something of a really bad sitcom happened in my apartment last night. While being rich with comedic value and easily parody material, I think it was a bit too stressful for those involved to crack any jokes just yet. Ben had almost finished with Jordan's eulogy on his way home. So I guess that doesn't make a whole lot of sense now that I re-read that last paragraph. I don't want to put in the effort to sum it up myself, so I'll quote Ben on this with some editing and interjections by me;

'At an unknown time this evening, Jordan's brother Jared was in a car accident. He is fine, but the car was totaled, I believe there was flipping involved. Julia told her older sister, Mary-Francis, that she was going to console Jordan re: his brother. Through a miscommunication, Mary-Francis reports to her mother, Mrs. Jung, that Julia and Jordan are at the hospital. I can see how this would happen, Julia's cellphone is prone to static. While consoling Jordan, Julia had left her phone off, making her incommunicado.

Simultaneously, Jordan's mother, Mrs. Wellington, is trying to locate Jordan. He had planned to stay at Joe's house for the night, for various reasons. But, for an equal number of various reasons, not the least of which that Joe had to work early that next morning, Jordan thought it best that he stay at my place tonight. For further reasons, not the least of which is that Mrs. Wellington doesn't take well to her son sleeping at some one's (me and Jae) house who she has not met, Jordan did not tell her that he was sleeping at our place.

Mrs. Wellington then calls Joe, asking him if he had seen Jordan. He, of course, had not. Mrs. Wellington, her panic increasing, calls Jae. Jordan had not yet informed us that he was sleeping here tonight, so he tells her that we, too, had not seen Jordan. Mrs. Wellington panic rises.

This is the point where I enter the picture, as Jae calls me at Ken's party, to see if by any chance Jordan was with me, which he was not. Through Jae's muffled call, I hear the words "Jordan" "accident" "hospital", so I head home. I should say, that on the way home I was planning a GIS related solution to the problem of Jordan being in a traffic accident and taken to a unknown hospital. Using my access to the MTO's COMPASS traffic incident system, to which I had been granted access as part of my dealings with the ministry, I would search for any traffic incidents taking place between 9 and 10. Then, after creating Thessian Polygons around all of Toronto's hospitals, thus creating rough areas to which Jordan might have been taken, I could cross-reference the location of all traffic incidents requiring ambulatory response, narrowing down the list of hospitals to call from several dozen to less than 6. This was all calculated while I was mentally writing Jordan's eulogy . Okay, but none of that last paragraph mattered.

What happens at this point is a bit fuzzy. Julia sees on her cell phone several missed calls from both her mom's cellphone and Jae, as Jae was calling her looking for information. Julia, for some reason (and remember, this part is most likely wrong), thinks that her mother had come down to our place looking for her. It was then that she learned that her mother thought that she was in an accident, and had been calling around to local hospitals looking for her.

At some point she and Jordan come here, and inform those people who thought that they were dead that they were very much alive. At this point, I made tea. Julia, after calming down from the hysteria of having a mother who thought that she was dead , headed home for what we all assumed would be a chewing out session, for reasons that will not be discussed here. Jordan is staying here for the night, but will be chewed out by both his mother (for not telling her where he was sleeping), and from Joe (for not staying at his place) .

That is the official (or as official as it will ever be) Julia and Jordan story of December, 2004. The key facts to remember is that 1) Jared is fine. 2) the car is totaled 3) both Julia and Jordan are fine 4) Ken has a new apartment 5) I have a new book.'

It's good to be a geek these day's. It's snowing a bit. It's really early out. I need to stop typing now.

Lithium - Nirvana